Home Sociology Infant Observation: Creating Transformative Relationships
Allowing coupling to take place
Eric at twenty-nine months: Later when I'm watching Eric in the garden he notices a small yellow flower which has dropped off a bush. He brings it to me saying, "That's for you.” Then he looks on the grass saying, "I'll get a flower for Mummy.” When we go inside the house, I give both flowers to mother, but Eric says "No, that's for Mummy. That's for Jeanne.” He wants to kiss me goodbye.
In the past, Eric's wish to kiss me goodbye has occurred mainly when baby is in mother's lap and Eric is turning away from mother, wanting to distance himself from mother with baby. This visit is different in that he is able to keep both affectionate and distinct relationships with both mother and me. He is very sensitive to the beauty of the breast and to his greedy wishes to possess it completely for himself and control it. Here though, he wants me and his mummy each to have a flower. He seems identified with the internal mother who has space for both Daniel and himself. He seems to have begun to see the possibility of having something for himself without damaging the others relating to mother: the new baby, mother's friends. As mouth and nipple, mother and baby, mother and father begin to remain linked together in his mind, Eric wants me to put the flower back on the plant. He wants me to help him to bring things together.
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